Turning 40: Five Things I Wish I Had Known 20 Years Ago

This July is my fortieth birthday. Forty isn’t a little mile marker on the life highway, it’s one of those big flashing billboards reminding you not to text and drive on the interstate. You might notice it for a moment as you glance up from your smart phone…..the one that didn’t even exist twenty years ago. Forty is one of those birthdays that requires reflection: from where have I come and to where am I going? As I prepare to celebrate in a few months, I’ve been wondering what it would be like to go back and have a chat with my
twenty-year-old self, the one on the brink of jumping into life with both feet, a life full of unknowns but also brimming with promise. What would I say to that naive girl? What wisdom would the 40-year-old version of me impart to that ingenue? So, I decided to create a list of truths I’d like to share with that much-younger me:

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Life Unplugged

I’m not sure how it began.  I think it all started with the chaos of moving to a new home in a new city in the middle of a school year.  However it commenced, it was clear:  my children’s use of electronic devices had gotten out of control.

“Mom, can I play on my i-Pad while you unpack?”

“Mommy, I finished all of my school work; can I play X-box for a little while?”

For two months, I acquiesced because it allowed me to unpack one more box, organize one more closet, and buy one more minute of peace.  Before I knew it, my children, particularly  my son, were begging for electronic devices on car rides, at dinner, and even attempting to slide them under pillows in case they awoke in the middle of the night.  Clearly, we had a problem.  Their dependence on smart devices for constant entertainment had even taken a toll on their personalities.  My son was moody and jittery when the iPad wasn’t in his hands.  Fights ensued over whose turn it was to play X-box. They were rushing through assignments simply to get to tech time.  When I finally decided enough was enough and attempted to set limits, I was met with mourning and gnashing of teeth, so I found myself continually giving in because that was easier than the hassle of dealing with the outburst over just saying, “No!”

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