The coach finishes his post-game pep talk then holds up the coveted game ball. He’s ready to announce tonight’s recipient. I glance at my son, his eyes wide in anticipation. I can almost hear his slow intake of breath, the butterflies of possibility fluttering in his stomach. I’ve been there on pageant stages, at cheerleader tryouts, the waiting to hear your name announced yet knowing deep down it probably isn’t going to happen. C closes his eyes hoping to hear his name. Tonight was his best game of the season, but he plays on a team of standouts, and their plays and displays outshone his. “Tonight’s game ball goes to….” I don’t remember whose name was called; I just know it wasn’t his.
Category: Uncategorized
Playing Offense
Few things drive me to my knees faster than parenting. I think Satan likes to attack my parenting because it is where I feel most insecure. I’m accustomed to tackling challenges with ease, but parenting leaves me baffled. What works one day prompts disaster the next. Throw a strong-willed child into the mix and boom! Once again, I’m left in the wake picking up the shards of a broken morning.
Turning 40: Five Things I Wish I Had Known 20 Years Ago
I wrote this five years ago…as I prepare to turn 45, I’d add a few more lessons learned in the five years since this was written. I think the most important thing I continue to learn as I age is that life is a process, a journey, and sometimes lessons need to be taught over and over before they are truly learned.
1. You don’t have to be perfect. I know this is one of the ones from 40, but this is a lesson that I keep having to learn. God keeps reminding me that I am being made perfect (whole, complete), but no one is perfect except His son. On this earth mistakes are teachers, and failure is part of the perfecting process, and I am a continual work in progress.
2. It is ok to not be the best, or even good, at everything. Chalk it up to my 3 on the
Enneagram, but my drive to excellent at every single task I do continues to create a lot of stress in my life, especially when my motivation is to look good to others and not always to simply honor God. Ouch.
3. The fate of the world doesn’t lie on my shoulders. I repeat, the fate of the world doesn’t lie on my shoulders. The repetition was for me, not you. If I take a day off, if I sit down and read a book or watch a movie, the world continues to spin because it is God, not I, who set it all in motion and keeps it going.
4. No is a complete sentence. Enough said. Continue reading “Turning 40: Five Things I Wish I Had Known 20 Years Ago”
New Year Reflections
This is the time of year where I usually reflect on my failed resolutions of the past 365 days, an uplifting berating of my many failings and shortcomings. Most resolutions never live to see me sneaking Valentine conversation hearts from my kids’ stashes. It’s been such a strange and atypical year, though, that I decided to reflect on what the past year has taught me about who I am, flaws and all. Continue reading “New Year Reflections”
The One Where I Open Up About My Struggle with Body Image
I quickly post pictures of me taken at the finish line of the Gulf Coast Triathlon without examining them too closely. I just completed my first triathlon, and these pictures need to get to the world wide web as soon as possible. The people need to know. Later, when I’ve had time to recover, I scroll through the photographs taken by family and friends. I pause on the one of me proudly holding up my finisher’s medal, and I am disgusted. My first thought isn’t, “Look at what you just accomplished after years of battling injury. You go girl!” No, sadly, my first thought is, “Who is that big girl? I look so fat.” What should be my most triumphant moment in a long time reduces me to tears of frustration as I pore over every flaw, picking apart each inch of my body with a negativity I wouldn’t reserve for my nemesis. Continue reading “The One Where I Open Up About My Struggle with Body Image”




